Pickles on Tacos

A creative director that will remain unnamed, recently died on a mountain from pickles. As tragic as this may sound, it happens a lot.

We had a job going through the shop that required some client revisions. One of these revisions was to retouch a photo that had become outdated since that last time it was used due to construction. Rather than reshoot the image to bring it up to date, the client requested that we Photoshop it. (a term that I loathe—but that’s another post.) The CD actually performed the retouch and routed it for approval.

Production intercepted the file and determined that it needed some additional work. (Inflate ego here.) CD says that they are being overcritical and that it was fine, and that nothing else would be done to it. Production says no, when it prints, its going to look like ass. CD says… well, you get the picture.

Ultimately, it winds up in front of the owner of the agency. He agrees with production and the CD holds her ground. CD gets fired. (This wasn’t her first climb on the mountain)

First of all, it never should have gotten to this mountain top. Second, when the owner of the taco stand says to put pickles on the tacos, you should put pickles on the tacos. Be weary of the mountains you choose to die on.

I’m not talking about sacrificing your integrity here. I’m talking about pickles. Things that matter about as much as hair in the shower drain. I’ve seen it happen over and over again. Not just with creative directors. Production managers that think a forced return would look better in that paragraph at press check. AEs that think an extra $500 is too much to spend on a $12,000 ad. Writers that hate extra commas. The list goes on.

The bottom line—If you don’t like pickles, open your own taco stand.

Believe

When I got shoved out of the plane at 40,000 feet without a parachute at a failing agency, no words could describe the feeling. Robin Williams came close, “It’s like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning barn.” But, you know what? A net appeared. The phone started ringing and work started coming in. Now, this ain’t Nike calling looking for a new campaign, but people are calling. Its the kind of work that pays the bills and doesn’t beat you up too bad, and I’m okay with that right now because I get to do it on my terms.

The net was big and wide and long, and had lots of bounce, and it was amazing when I hit because I didn’t feel a thing except relief. And just when I think that the net won’t hold me, the phone rings again. And this is the best part—every time it rings, its because the person on the other end believes in me. They are calling because they want creative that actually does something besides filling an empty space. They want it to work.

I have had two agency owners tell me that the advertising agency is dead. I couldn’t tell if they meant their agency or the business in general. One of them said this as he was getting into his Range Rover.  It reminds me of the Paul Delaroche quote, “painting is dead,” 150 years ago. Rothko, Johns, Warhol, and Lichtenstein, to name a few, did just fine. Hell, even Thomas Kinkade does a good business. The agency isn’t dead, only the bad ones are dead. The good ones are doing just fine. CP+B billed $1 billion dollars last year. Fallon billed $900 million. Wray Ward, a small shop out of Charlotte did $78 million.

Is it getting tougher? Absolutely. The days of biting a bullet to cut off someone’s leg are over in the ad business. No more bad medicine. There are good doctors and bad doctors, good plumbers and bad plumbers, good advertising and bad advertising. No matter the industry, the bad ones don’t last very long. Accountability is changing the landscape. Advertising Voodoo doesn’t work any more. The hacks have made it tough on all of us.

The agencies that are doing it right and holding themselves accountable for everything they do are going to be fine. It’s the agencies that are selling SEO and Google Ad Words like an elixir that don’t have a chance. We always tell our clients to set themselves apart. Why is your beer better than their beer? Yet, these agencies are selling something that the good ones include as a line item on an invoice for building a website. Worse yet, what happens when the PPC numbers don’t equate to increased sales? It is these clients that bought the tonic, that are left with nothing but a bitter taste and a lack of faith.

I saw a girl’s sign-off on her blog that said, “Don’t tell my mom that I’m in advertising, I told her that I play the piano in a whorehouse.” Why would anyone have to be ashamed to be in this business, unless you are selling snake oil?

The B-Team

Okay, I confess. Those DVDs with the bonus disk — I’m a sucker. I love seeing how movie magic can make Spiderman trapeze from building to building, the trials of bringing a film to the big screen, or to have the chance of sneaking into the head of a Hollywood director.

Most of these bonus disks are useless fodder, but one stands out for me. The Lion King. Not because it was groundbreaking animation or Disney this or Disney that, but because of a 20-minute clip that is tucked deep inside the disk that everyone in the advertising business should watch. It talks about the B-Team.

At Disney’s animation studios, they often have multiple projects going on at one time. During this particular time, they were setting teams for the production of Pocahontas and The Lion King. Of course, everyone was jockeying for position, but a little known fact is that The Lion King was considered the B-movie, and there was talk of it going straight to video. No one wanted to work on a low-budget film about a lion cub that unintentionally kills his father and goes into exile. Pocahontas, about a heroine and American icon, was set to smash the box office and win Oscars.

Teams were chosen, egos were crushed and the lion crew sulked. This is where the creative spirit began to prevail. Those involved decided that if this were their fate, they would make the best B-movie that they possibly could. Though the cards were stacked against them and the chances for success were small, the B-Team started producing
A-Team work.

The opening sequence of The Lion King is one of the most beautiful pieces of animation and artistry I have ever seen. It was also the first clip from the movie that was produced and shown to the Disney executives. With this four-minute clip, budgets were increased and the mere thought of straight-to-video was tossed out the window. The intro was also used as a trailer in theaters to promote the film.

During The Lion King’s run in theaters, it became Disney’s top-grossing animated film of all time and won two Oscars and three Golden Globes. Not bad for a cartoon that was “doomed” before the first cell was even drawn.

Every day, things pass across our desks that we perceive as B-work. Get it done, and get it out the door. I just wonder how many opportunities are lost in this thinking. In creative departments throughout the advertising business, art directors and copywriters complain of not getting the juicy assignments. They fret that the budgets can’t support great ideas, the client doesn’t get it, or that a one-color ad will never win awards. Some agencies even consider themselves as B-level shops, taking what they can get as opposed to getting the accounts they want. This amounts to giving up before the first marker comp is drawn or any headlines are written.

The Disney honchos had considered The Lion King as a second-rate film and set budgets accordingly. I wonder how many clients have done this? If shown greatness, I wonder how many would change the parameters of the job for a shot at truly brilliant marketing? I have seen it happen. The budget on an airport duratran for an international manufacturing company went from $500 to $5,000 when I showed them some ideas that went beyond what they had thought would be a routine corporate message.

When Crispin Porter + Bogusky won the Mini account, what it got was a car account with a $53 million budget. Meager by industry standards. How could an agency launch a car brand and meet sales goals on a budget that wouldn’t support a television rotation necessary for an automobile no one had heard about? Many in our industry would say that it couldn’t be done. Not CP+B. The creative team came up with innovative ideas and media placements that exceeded sales expectations. But, the client also understood the obstacles the company was facing and was very open minded when it came to some of these ideas that had never been seen in this segment, or any other for that matter.

Next time a job comes across the desk, let’s think like the B-team. Let’s be problem solvers. Let’s change the landscape of our industry instead of doing what has already been done. Let’s be brilliant. Anything above the expected is inching towards brilliance and brilliance is colorblind, it costs very little, and I assure you people will get it — and, best of all, the A-team will wish they’d thought of it.

Cyber murder or suicide?

Over and over again, I hear from those of us that are still employed in the advertising industry how the agency is dead. They cry cyber murder, I think that it’s more like suicide.

Since their inception, agencies have been built on a business model of selling media and breaking even on creative. Many will tell you that the web killed them. In their last gasping breaths, they grab at the collar of their killer and cry SEO… Google Ad Words… pay per click… Please help me. Yet, even with a little sympathy from their slayer, their bloated lifestyle of $800 bar tabs, first class flights and golf at Pebble Beach are unsustainable.

Their tailored suits hang on their shoulders like wet towels. They grovel about the good old days, blame partners that were smart enough to sell out five years ago, and stay at the office late watching their email for a glimmer of  media hope. They lay off experience and talent in favor of cheap and fast—monkeys and keyboards. They sacrifice the hope and healing of a transplant for the immediacy of a cholesterol pill. They choose a few weeks of life over the ability to live. Even wolves know when to chew off the leg that is killing them. Gnaw off the commission and save the idea.

In almost every pitch that I have been in, the potential suitor wants to see ideas. Sure, the pitch still requires spread sheets and pie charts and blah this and blah that, but it’s when the creative is presented that the prom dress comes off. The other stuff is just earrings and flowers. If you want to touch it, it’s gonna cost you and cutting the budget in half isn’t an option. No, we can’t decrease the frequency. The idea is the idea and if you want it, you have to pay for the whole thing. But, this is what we will do, you can pay us now or you can pay us later. Lots of money now, or lots and lots of money later based on a percentage of your sales.

The recovery won’t be easy. Agencies will have to train other body parts to compensate and clients will stare. It will be the brave clients, the clients that will like you because you are different and won’t mind being with an agency that has brilliant ideas. They will love you for being you. Sure, there will still be clients and other agencies that will point and laugh, but stand proud. You’re accountable. No more half-assed, safe ideas for the sake of 15%. You rise and fall based on your performance and if it doesn’t work, you can’t blame the decline in readership of magazines, the economy or the web.

Print is dead

The Apple iPad was launched today, and I saw a posting on Twitter that said, “Print is dead. Say goodbye to all your magazines, books and newspapers.”

Well for starters, I can’t wait to take an iPad on the beach this summer so I can read a steamy romance novel while watching the kids frolic in the water. Right after I slather them in sunscreen and wipe the Doritos cheese off of my fingers and the sand out of the back of my shorts.

Or maybe I could take it to the bathroom with me to catch up on whether Farvre is actually going to retire after the worst pass in post-season history. Here, would you like to use mine.

I can't help but think, that sometimes people are going to want to shut down. Spend some time with a book. A real book, or a real magazine. Something they can line the bird cage with or beat the dog with when he gets into the trash.

I had a college professor that told me that print was dead in 1995. The internet and laptops were going to assure that. 15 years later there are still an awful lot of trees being cut down. Certainly the industry has changed, but not dead. And I'm not sure that an oversized iPhone is going to change much that hasn't already. When it comes down to it, the iPad is really the next generation of laptops and will be used just like one.

Beautiful? Yes. Brilliant? Yes. Print killer? Probably not.

What's your story?

I saw a motivational speaker the other day. Very compelling. His talk went something like this:

Imagine a movie where the protagonist wants a Volvo. He works and saves for three years and buys the Volvo. The credits roll and everyone gets up and leaves the theater. Not a very good story.

There is a girl that wants to drill 1,000 wells in Africa. She's college educated and everyone says that she's crazy. Huge corporations have tried this and failed. She is cutting through the red tape, she's raising money, she works long hours and makes sacrifices all along the way. So far she has drilled 70 fresh water wells. That's a great story.

The movie Friday Night Lights is about a high school team that, against adversity makes it to the Texas state championship game. At the end of the movie, they lose the big game. Probably one of the greatest movies ever made. What most people don't know about the team is that the following year they won the championship. So, why not make that movie? The movie about the struggle was a better story. It is our conflicts that define us. Getting the Volvo doesn't require a whole lot.

A man was having issues with his daughter. Her grades were falling, she was losing herself in a new group of friends that didn't have much ambition, and she was dating a guy that didn't have the qualities that her father wanted her to be associated with. He tried a heavy handed approach and it just made matters worse. The problem was that she didn't have a very exciting story. The story of her new friends was much more exciting. Rebellion, angst and the attention she got gave her a much better story line.

The father comes home one day and has a family meeting. He set up a white board and proceeded to tell his family that he had a crazy idea and that with all of his excitement, he had already committed to it. But, he had no idea how to pull it off. He had committed to building 5 schools in Africa and he now needed their help to pull this off. They started jotting down ideas and brainstorming on ways to facilitate this huge undertaking. The entire family got on board with his project.

Within two weeks, his daughter had broken up with her boyfriend, and after finishing her homework each night, she would help her father with the project. She didn't need the old story anymore. The one she had now was much better to tell.

What's your story? I hope its not about a Volvo.